I’m ready for summer to be over. I’m tired of the sun rubbing me raw, skin and soul and everything in between. All is laid bare in this glaring light and I hate being forced to honesty.

Summer will make you feel guilty for hiding away until you drag your sadness out of the shadows and let it burn there, the ashes getting stuck on the already dying flowers, the sun pressing down on you with a mocking smile. Summer always makes you feel like there’s something to do, something to fix, something to see, something to want. Summer is realizing half of the year has gone by and you have no idea what you did with all that time, having nothing to show for it. Summer is crying on your birthday, year after year, because you always feel like you should feel something special but really you feel nothing at all.

Let it be autumn instead. Autumn is gentle and slow and lets you retreat inwards without begrudging you for it, without poking at you until you give up and force yourself to places you don’t want to go. The smells of autumn are earthy and pure and more importantly, they all hold the promise of stillness. When the leaves wither away and become one with the rotting earth below, that’s when I shrug off summer’s emptiness and replace it with something fuller. That’s when I can finally breathe again.

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